14-12-24 After a week's absence, a mountain man staggered home, clothes torn, shoes worn thin. He was exhausted. Where have you been? asked his wife. I went out in the woods to check the still. Replied the mountain man, and a giant bear stepped out in front...

14-12-09 A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, Doc, I'm in a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it....

14-12-09 A husband and his blonde wife were in bed asleep. About 2 AM they both awoke to the neighbors dog barking extremely loudly... After lying there for the next 30 minutes unable to go to sleep, she tells her husband to go do something about the barking...

14-12-09 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a...

14-11-19 Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! The next morning Ed got...

14-11-19 One winter morning a husband and wife in Denver were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the sno...

14-09-29 Dreamheart Tony Hoagland They took the old heart out of your chest all blue and spoiled like a sick grapefruit the way you removed your first wife from your life, and put a strong young blonde one in her place. What happened to the old heart is unre...

14-09-24 A big game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up...

14-09-16 John had waited for months to get a divorce and now he was free from his domineering wife. Free at last! he screamed, throwing his divorce papers into the air. Now, I can eat when I want to, watch television when I want to. Two months later John was...

14-09-10 I married a widow with six children. I had five myself by my late wife. We have been married for four years and our union had been blessed with three more. The other day my wife came in hurriedly and said, Come into the yard. Quick! For goodness sak...