The next day, Mike gathered the team out on the campus quad¹. Sulley leaned against a tree and watched as Mike had them line up military-style. "Okay, listen up, Oozmas!" Mike said. "We're going to have to start winning these things together, so that means I need each of you to pull your own weight."

"We've made a list of our strengths and weaknesses," Squishy said, smiling.

Don stepped forward. "In high school I was the master of the ‘silent scare.' Why, I could sneak² up on a field mouse in a pillow factory," he said as he got down on his hands and knees and began to creep across the sidewalk. But his suction cups made a loud pop-pop-pop sound. "Uh, sorry," Don said. "They get stickier when I'm sweaty."

Then Terri and Terry stepped up. One hand pulled out a deck of playing cards. "We're experts in the ancient craft of close-up magic," Terry said with an air of mystery as he waved the cards in front of them.

"It's all about misdirection," Terri explained. But just then, all the cards accidentally tumbled out of his sleeve and fell to the ground. Terry looked at his brother and gave an exasperated³ sigh.

"I have an extra toe," Art said. He laughed quietly and added, "Not with me, of course."

Mike could see that the boys needed some direction. "Guys, one slipup. in the next event and we're goners. So for this to work, I need you to take every instinct you have and bury it deep, deep down."

"Done," Art said.

Mike nodded. "From now on, we are of one mind. My mind."

"Oh, please," Sulley said, rolling his eyes.

"I will tell you exactly what to do and how to do it," Mike continued.

Sulley made a face, but the Oozmas were completely on board. "Okay, Mike," they said. "That sure seems best."

Mike smiled at them and said, "Good. Give me fifty sneaks⁴, right now, in place, let's go!"

As the Oozmas began to exercise, moving their oddly misshapen bodies, Sulley walked over to Mike and said, "You're wasting your time. We need a new team."

"We can't just get a new team," Mike replied. "I checked this morning, and it's against the rules."

"What if we disguise the new team to look like the old team?" Sulley asked hopefully.

"Oh, no. We are not cheating!" Mike said.

"It's not cheating," Sulley said, shaking his head. "I'm just, you know, leveling the playing field." Mike stared at him, and Sulley sighed. "Okay, so it's kind of cheating! But what do you want me to do? They're not exactly the scariest group in the world."

They both turned and looked at the Oozmas. Squishy was prancing⁵ around with a ladybug on his hand. "Oh, make a wish, everybody! Make a wish!"

Sulley gave Mike an annoyed look and walked off. "Where are you going?" Mike called after him. "We're training!"

"I'm a Sullivan!" Sulley called back. "You tell them what to do, but not me. Later, Coach."

Squishy suddenly sprung up behind Mike, who jumped into the air in surprise.

"AH!" he screamed. "Boy, we need to get you a bell!" Then he turned to the group. "Okay, Oozmas. Pop quiz: What's more dangerous than a human child?"

Art raised his hand and said, "Two human childs?"

Mike sighed. "No! A human adult! The next event is all about avoiding capture. So remember, do exactly what I do." Mike raised a foot and walked heel to toe, super-slow. The rest of the team nodded eagerly.

 

第二天，麦克把队员集结到四方坪上。毛怪倚着树，看着麦克把剩下的队员像军人一样排成一行。“好啦！听着，兄弟们！”麦克喊道，“我们只有齐心协力才能赢得比赛，也就是说，我们所有人都要全力以赴。”

史乖宝微笑着说：“我们列了张单子，上面有我们的优点和缺点。”

老唐往前迈了一步：“高中时代，我就是‘无声吓人’之王。在枕头厂工作的时候，我还能偷袭田鼠，”他边说边趴在地上，在路边爬了起来，可他的吸盘总是发出“啪啪啪”的声音。“哦，抱歉，我的触手越出汗就越黏。”

接着，泰瑞和泰锐走上前来，拿出一副扑克牌。泰锐一边挥动着眼前的牌一边神秘地说：“我们擅长的是古老的近景魔术。”

“重点在于声东击西。”泰瑞解释道。可就在这时，所有的扑克牌却不小心从他的袖子里掉了出来，散落到地上。泰锐看着他兄弟，恼火地叹了口气。

“我多长了个脚趾！”阿拱轻声笑着补充道，“不过也没什么用。”

麦克发现，这些队员需要点方向性的指导，就说：“兄弟们，下场比赛要是出一点点问题，我们就没戏了，所以，我要你们把你们的本能深深地、深深地埋起来。”

“明白！”阿拱回答。

麦克点点头，说道：“从现在起，我们只有一个大脑——我的大脑。”

毛怪翻了翻白眼：“哦，拉倒吧！”

麦克接着说道：“我会确切告诉你们要做什么，怎么做。”

毛怪做了个鬼脸，但OK会的其他成员却很支持麦克，说道：“没问题，麦克！这是最好的方法了。”

麦克满意地笑了，他说：“很好。现在做五十个偷袭动作，各就各位，开始！”

OK会队员开始练习，各自扭动着他们那奇形怪状的肢体。这时，毛怪走到麦克身边说道：“你这是在浪费时间，我们得重新组个队。”

麦克回答说：“我们不能重新组队，我早上查过了，这是犯规的。”

“我们要是把新队员装成老队员呢？”毛怪还抱有一丝侥幸。

麦克说：“不，不行，我们不能作弊！”

毛怪摇着头说：“这不是作弊，我只是……你懂的，让竞争公平点。”看到麦克瞪着自己，他又叹了口气说：“好吧，这是作弊！可你想让我怎么办？他们根本就不是最吓人的队伍啊。”

他们俩回过头看着OK会的这群成员。史乖宝手上正托着一只瓢虫雀跃着：“大家许个愿吧，快许个愿！”

毛怪生气地看了麦克一眼就走开了。“你要去哪儿？我们还在训练呢。”麦克在后面喊道。

“我是苏利文家族的人！”毛怪回答，“你要指手画脚就对着他们说，别对着我。再见，大教练！”

史乖宝突然出现在麦克身后，吓了他一大跳。

“啊！”麦克叫了起来，“天哪，看来我得给你绑个铃铛！”接着，他转向其他成员，“兄弟们！注意啦！突击考查！有什么比一个人类小孩更危险？”

阿拱举起手回答道：“两个人类小孩？”

麦克叹了口气：“不是！是一个人类成年人！下一场比赛是躲避抓捕。记住，我做什么，你们就照做。”麦克抬起一只脚，然后由脚跟到脚尖，又轻又慢地落下去。其他队员纷纷点头如捣蒜。

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