日期：2012-02-03 Two attorneys went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, You can't eat your own sandwiches here! The attorneys looked at each other,... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby. From your looks, said the fat man, there might have been a famine. Yes, was the reply, and from your looks, you might have caused it. 在旅馆大厅里，一个非常瘦的人遇到了一个非常胖的人。 胖子说：... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 Nurse: How do you feel after your operation? Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me. Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now. 护士：手术后你感觉怎样？ 病人：十分好，... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater（母校，校歌） . One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal. I sure was! answered the host. He's th... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 Ma: Pa, I don't think the neighbors like the new drum we got Johnny for Christmas. Pa: Why not? Ma: They gave him a knife and asked him if he knew what was in the drum. 妈：他爸，我怎么觉得邻居非常不喜欢咱们圣诞节时给约翰尼买的新鼓呢。 爸：为什么？... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-19 Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning. Walter: What was it? Teacher: Eggs. Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday. 老师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。 沃尔特：我吃了什么？... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-19 We have got a new dog, would you like to come around and play with him? Well, I don't know. Does he bite? That's what I want to find out. 我们又得到了一只新狗，你要过来和他玩玩吗？ 哦， 我不知道。他咬人吗？ 这正是我想要知道的。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-19 Police: When can it be that the thieves broke into your house? Owner: How could I know as my watch was stolen? 警察：你估计小偷是什么时候进入你家的？ 失主：我的手表都被偷走了，我怎么知道是什么时候？... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-19 Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-10 Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish. Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two. 顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉？ 服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-10 In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer（门厅，大厅） . A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row: Excuse me, was it your foo... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-10 Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. 儿子：爸爸，听说在非洲的一些地方男人在结婚前根本不认识他的妻子。 父亲：孩子，实际上所有的国家都是这... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-01-10 Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto? Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago. 旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？ 售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-20 A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically（疯狂似地） , she called to the father outsi... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-20 May I borrow your record player tonight? a man asked his neighbour . Sure. Do you want to listen to some music? No. he answered. Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet. 今晚我可以借用以下你的唱机吗？一个人对他的邻居说道。 当然可以，你也想听听音... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-20 When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: Wake up, sir! I wasn't asleep, the man answered. Not... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-20 An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-20 A doctor came into the hospital ward and said to Mr. Johnson, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Then Mr. Johnson said, Please, give me the good news first. So the doctor said, The doctors here are going to name an incurable disease af... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-13 The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry（哨兵） . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams（缝合线） . What's in here? he asked. Dirt, the driver replied.... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-12-13 Once God came up to me and granted me a wish. I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him to give you brains. He said, Let me try world peace. 有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。那是不可能的他说。 然后... 阅读全文>>