"We were on a break!"

"You're over me? When were you ever… under me?"

"You ate my sandwich? My sandwich?"

"I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off, but they must have shrunk¹ from the sweat or my legs expanded from the heat. I can't put them back on!"

 

"Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your faa-aa-ult."

"Something's wrong with the left phalange!"

"If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer."

"Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say... Mine's going to say: 'Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.'"

 

 

"It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal!"

"I don't want you to buy me a hat. I'm saying I am a hat! It's a metaphor², Daddy!"

"Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming."

"Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic?"

 

 

"OK, I'm responsible, I'm organised, but hey, I can be a kook."

"Everyone knows the basic seven erogenous zones."

"He told me about your apartment. And, well, I couldn't sleep thinking about it. So would it be OK if I cleaned it?"

"I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours."

 

 

"I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable."

"I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic³ comment?"

"Oh I know, this must be so hard. 'Oh no, two women love me. They're both gorgeous⁴ and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties. And my diamond shoes are too tight!'"

"Why yes, Ross. Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery⁵ entrance to the magical land of Narnia."

 

 

"How you doin'?"

"It's a 'moo' point. It's like a cow's opinion; it doesn't matter. It's just moo."

"Joey doesn't share food"

"Not just a hat rack⁶, my friend."

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