A redneck walks into a lawyers office and says, "I wants me a devoars!"

The attorney says, "Do you have gounds?"

"I gots 20 acres uh' the best bottom land in Alabamma."

"No I meant to ask do you have a good case?" replys the attorney.

"Yep, I rekkun so. I traded by International Harvester for it 'bout¹ three four yar 'go.

The attorney says, "Well nevermind that. Does she beat you up?"

"Nawh, hell no! She don't roll outta bed til roun 8 9 o'clock and I'm up with the chickens 4:30 5:00 'ary mornin."

"Is she a whinner?"

"Nawh, we boaf hadta quit drinkin back in June cause the police said they'd lock boaf us up 'we didn't.

"Is she a nagger²?"

"Nawh, but that nagger baby she just had show is and that's why I wants me a devoars."