Earl was enjoying his normal Saturday afternoon activities, (watching bass¹ fishing, eating pork rinds, and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon) when his wife came storming in the trailer.

"I want you to get up and kick this guy's ass²!" she exclaimed.

Earl, being a man of pride, jumped up and said, "What did that bastard³ do to you?"

She said, "Well I was at the market and I dropped a melon, when I went down to pick it up he looked under my dress."

Earl was fuming⁴ now!

Then he looked me in the eyes and said, "I would like to fill you up with ice cream and eat it all up!"

Hearing this Earl immediately sat back down.

She replied, "Well aren't you gonna do something?"

Earl looked at her and said, "I'm not gonna fuck with anyone who can eat that much ice cream."