日期:2013-10-16 The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor's Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor's Day, the warden called Geo... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-10-16 Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep(熟睡的) . Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. As long as you're asleep, it read, you have a... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-10-16 An old woman went to a supermarket, to the tomato or tofu stall. She bent down to pick some tomatoes or tofu, and because she was old, her spine gave her trouble and she felt a sharp pain. So she just shrieked, Ah...., the way you do when you see a... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-10-16 One day a boy came to his teacher and said: Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig. I certainly do, said the teacher, and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me. Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig. Final... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-10-16 My youngest brother, Tony, had just completed basic training and was home on leave prior to his first tour in Germany. Since I was an Army National Guard pilot and my another brother was my crew chief, we offered to take Tony to catch his transport... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-10-16 I wanted to make my mark as the new food-service officer at a recruit training center. The menu was loaded with red meat, so I devised a new one to reduce cholesterol(胆固醇) . I substituted chicken for beef, and awaited comments from the suggesti... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-07-09 A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, even the brake pedal! he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time Never mind, th... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-07-09 -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-07-09 A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell, Get the kid. 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-07-09 Author: You can't apprecciate it. You never wrote a book yourself. Friend: No, and I never laid an egg, but I'm a better judge of an omelet than my hen in this country. 作者:你无法欣赏他,你从来没有自己写过书。 朋友:没写过,我也从来没有下过蛋,但... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-04-10 Excuse me, but the seat you've taken is mine. Yours? Can you prove it? Yes, I put a cup of ice cream on it. 请原谅,你占了我的位置. 你的位置?你能征明这点吗? 能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌.... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-04-10 One day, Eve asked Adam,Doyou really love me? Adam said helplessly,Do I have any other choice? 一天,夏娃问亚当:你当真爱我吗? 亚当无可奈何地回答:我还有的选择吗?... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-04-10 Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll b... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-04-10 A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, tw... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-03-21 Husband: Before I married you, I never thought of saving money. Wife: And now? Husband: Now I'm thinking About how much I could have saved if I hadn't married you. 丈夫:在娶你进门之前,我从来没有想过要存钱。 妻子:那现在呢? 丈夫:现在我在想,要是没... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-03-21 Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year. Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which. 手相大师:你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。 顾客:天哪,一年后? 手相大师:是的,可是我不能说是... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-03-21 Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙医:请不要再叫了,我都还没有挨着你的牙齿啊! 病人:但是,亲,你可知道,你踩到我脚了!!!... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-03-21 Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙医:请不要再叫了,我都还没有挨着你的牙齿啊! 病人:但是,亲,你可知道,你踩到我脚了!!!... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-03-21 Life is cruel to men. When they are born, their mothers get the compliments and flowers. When they are married, their brides get the presents and publicity. And when they die, their wives get the insurance. 生命对于男人来说是残酷的。当他们出生的时候... 阅读全文>>

日期:2013-01-31 Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire. He called to the hostler(马夫) to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse. Will your horse eat oysters? said the hostler. Try him, said Mr. Brown. Immedi... 阅读全文>>

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