My painful cat-sitting adventure 我的痛苦的猫保姆经历
文章来源:未知 文章作者:meng 发布时间:2010-06-02 00:18 字体: [ ]  进入论坛

Why and how I got myself into this situation is still unclear to me. A lady friend, a quite good looking lady friend,  asked me to check her two cats while she was out of town for several days. I said, "Sure." I thought to myself, "How difficult could it be to check on her cats?" Before she left she told me that one of her cats was on medication(药物治疗) for dry skin. Yes, dry skin. I thought to myself, "Give me a break!" However I kept my mouth shut because she is a good friend and as I said before, quite a good looking friend. Her one cat was required to take two pills a day and also needed to have Neosporin put on a sore(溃疡,痛处) on his skin. "No problem", I foolishly replied.

First of all, I do not, never did, and probably never will understand women and their fascination1(魅力,入迷) with cats. Cats like their independence, they never listen to you and they won't come to you if you call them. They are lazy, enjoy sleeping all day and staying out all night. If they drank beer and watched sports on television then they would be just like most of the men that these women have dated in their lives. Yet they love their cats. Many single women I know have cats. They never seem to have just one cat, they usually have at least two cats. Why? So the cats will have company when the woman is away. I never did understand why a cat, an animal that is very independent, would need or even want company when its owner is away. I would think that most cats are probably happy when their owner is away. They finally have got the entire place to themselves. However many women I know insist on having a second cat to keep the first cat company. All of these women are single. I also know of one woman who owns seven cats. She is also single. I believe it is because she owns seven cats.

I arrived at my lady friend's house at 11 a.m. and found a note instructing me what to do. "Check food". The food is A-OK. "Check Water". Well, the water dish was a little low so I'll add some water. However the note instructed me to "Only give them bottled water which is in the refrigerator"! I thought to myself, "Bottled water? The cats only drink bottled water?" When I visit my lady friend and ask for water, she gives me tap water. I may have to re-evaluate my friendship with this lady friend. I filled the cats' water dish with the aforementioned(上述的,前面提及的) bottled water. I read the rest of the instructions she had left for me. The note went on saying, "Poopy bags are in the flowered green fabric2 holder3 hanging off the metal rack(行李架) beside the litter box." Yes, you read me right, she wrote, "poopy bags." I really have to re-evaluate my friendship with this woman.

Now it is time to give Lucas, the male cat, his medicine. I was instructed to hide the pill inside some veggie(素食者) cheese. Yes, the cat likes veggie cheese, made from soy. Apparently4 Lucas is a bottled water drinking, vegetarian5 cat. I did as instructed and put the pill inside the veggie cheese. The cat not only ate all of the veggie cheese, he also somehow managed to eat around the pill. All of the veggie cheese was gone yet the pill remained. I now must think of a "Plan B."

I decided6 to hide the pill in a piece of turkey. What the heck? I could not have any worse luck, could I? Lucas ate the turkey and once again managed to eat around the pill. One thing was certain. Lucas is not a vegetarian. I next attempted to hide the pill in some tuna(金枪鱼) . Albacore, actually. Again, Lucas ate all of the tuna and left the pill. Another thing was certain. Lucas likes to eat.

I then remembered my lady friend saying that I could hide the pill inside a cat snack treat. Aha! The old hiding the pill in a cat snack treat routine. I proceeded to find the cat treats. There were "Grilled7 Yellowfin Tuna Flavored Treats" and "Shrimp8 and Crab9 Medley10 Flavored Treats" and "Oven Roasted Breast of Chicken Flavored Treats" and "Hearty11 Beef Flavored Treats" and "Salmon12 Flavored Treats." These cats eat better than most people. I decided to first try the "Whiskas Temptations Salmon Flavored Treats." Why? Because on the package it read, "What Cats Want". That was good enough for me. Unfortunately it was not what this cat wanted. I put the pill in each of the treats and Lucas would not go near any of the them. One more thing was certain. Lucas was full. I now must wait until he gets hungry again. I had not thought that this would be an all day event.

While waiting for Lucas to get hungry again I thought I would make an attempt to put the Neosporin on his sore. This went better than expected. I accomplished13 this task in a mere14 45 minutes and I successfully managed not to bleed on any of my friend's furniture as I ran to the bathroom to cleanse15 my multiple scratch(抓痕) wounds. Although Lucas may not hold a high regard for Neosporin, I have a new found appreciation16 for it.

Afterwards I noticed Lucas licking the Neosporin off of his sore. My first thought was, "Well, that was a complete waste of time and blood!" Then I got an idea. I'll put some Neosporin on his pill. He seems to like the taste of Neosporin. And you know what? It did not work either! So much for shouting with glee(快乐,欢欣) and becoming rich of my idea for a "Neosporin Flavored Cat Treat".

I looked at my watch. It was almost 2 o'clock. This unsuccessful ordeal17(痛苦的经历) had taken almost 3 hours! And I am supposed to do this twice a day for the next four days. Yet one more thing was certain. I must come up with a "Plan C".

Knowing that I had made a valid18(正当的,有效的) attempt made it easier to implement19(实施,落实) "Plan C". Because of "Plan C", day two, three, and four of my cat-sitting adventure went smoothly20. My lady friend arrived home late on day four, none the wiser, thanking me again and again for looking after her beloved cats. What was "Plan C"? Well, "Plan C" was a simple plan. I figured that since Lucas was required to take 2 pills a day for 4 days then that would equate21 to 8 pills. (Thank God for calculators!) I took 8 pills out of the bottle and threw them in the garbage. I used the Neosporin on my own wounds thus making it look like I used it on Lucas. I did not bother going over to her house to check on the cats at all on day 2 or 3. I went over just on day 4 to change the water and litter box in order to make it appear like I did everything she wanted me to do. You may be asking yourselves, "Doesn't he feel any sense of guilt22 for his deceitful(欺诈的) ways?" The answer is, "No!". Well, maybe someday I will, after my wounds heal and the scars fade away. I did not want to implement "Plan C" but I had no other choice. I could not afford to waste several hours of my valuable time along with losing a pint23 of blood each day. Not when there are "Friends" returns to watch on television. Besides, that will teach her to give me tap water!


1 fascination FlHxO     
  • He had a deep fascination with all forms of transport.他对所有的运输工具都很着迷。
  • His letters have been a source of fascination to a wide audience.广大观众一直迷恋于他的来信。
2 fabric 3hezG     
  • The fabric will spot easily.这种织品很容易玷污。
  • I don't like the pattern on the fabric.我不喜欢那块布料上的图案。
3 holder wc4xq     
  • The holder of the office of chairman is reponsible for arranging meetings.担任主席职位的人负责安排会议。
  • That runner is the holder of the world record for the hundred-yard dash.那位运动员是一百码赛跑世界纪录的保持者。
4 apparently tMmyQ     
  • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
  • He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
5 vegetarian 7KGzY     
  • She got used gradually to the vegetarian diet.她逐渐习惯吃素食。
  • I didn't realize you were a vegetarian.我不知道你是个素食者。
6 decided lvqzZd     
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
7 grilled grilled     
adj. 烤的, 炙过的, 有格子的 动词grill的过去式和过去分词形式
  • He was grilled for two hours before the police let him go. 他被严厉盘查了两个小时后,警察才放他走。
  • He was grilled until he confessed. 他被严加拷问,直到他承认为止。
8 shrimp krFyz     
  • When the shrimp farm is built it will block the stream.一旦养虾场建起来,将会截断这条河流。
  • When it comes to seafood,I like shrimp the best.说到海鲜,我最喜欢虾。
9 crab xoozE     
  • I can't remember when I last had crab.我不记得上次吃蟹是什么时候了。
  • The skin on my face felt as hard as a crab's back.我脸上的皮仿佛僵硬了,就象螃蟹的壳似的。
10 medley vCfxg     
  • Today's sports meeting doesn't seem to include medley relay swimming.现在的运动会好象还没有混合接力泳这个比赛项目。
  • China won the Men's 200 metres Individual Medley.中国赢得了男子200米个人混合泳比赛。
11 hearty Od1zn     
  • After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了,他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
  • We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。
12 salmon pClzB     
  • We saw a salmon jumping in the waterfall there.我们看见一条大马哈鱼在那边瀑布中跳跃。
  • Do you have any fresh salmon in at the moment?现在有新鲜大马哈鱼卖吗?
13 accomplished UzwztZ     
  • Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
  • Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。
14 mere rC1xE     
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
15 cleanse 7VoyT     
  • Health experts are trying to cleanse the air in cities. 卫生专家们正设法净化城市里的空气。
  • Fresh fruit juices can also cleanse your body and reduce dark circles.新鲜果汁同样可以清洁你的身体,并对黑眼圈同样有抑制作用。
16 appreciation Pv9zs     
  • I would like to express my appreciation and thanks to you all.我想对你们所有人表达我的感激和谢意。
  • I'll be sending them a donation in appreciation of their help.我将送给他们一笔捐款以感谢他们的帮助。
17 ordeal B4Pzs     
  • She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。
  • Being lost in the wilderness for a week was an ordeal for me.在荒野里迷路一星期对我来说真是一场磨难。
18 valid eiCwm     
  • His claim to own the house is valid.他主张对此屋的所有权有效。
  • Do you have valid reasons for your absence?你的缺席有正当理由吗?
19 implement WcdzG     
  • Don't undertake a project unless you can implement it.不要承担一项计划,除非你能完成这项计划。
  • The best implement for digging a garden is a spade.在花园里挖土的最好工具是铁锹。
20 smoothly iiUzLG     
  • The workmen are very cooperative,so the work goes on smoothly.工人们十分合作,所以工作进展顺利。
  • Just change one or two words and the sentence will read smoothly.这句话只要动一两个字就顺了。
21 equate NolxH     
  • You can't equate passing examination and being intelligent.你不能把考试及格看成是聪明。
  • You cannot equate his poems with his plays.你不可以把他的诗歌和他的剧本相提并论。
22 guilt 9e6xr     
  • She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
  • Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。
23 pint 1NNxL     
  • I'll have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps, please.我要一品脱啤酒和一袋炸马铃薯片。
  • In the old days you could get a pint of beer for a shilling.从前,花一先令就可以买到一品脱啤酒。
TAG标签: water cat friend medicine