Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

-- Russell Baker

 

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

-- George Carlin

 

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

-- Ronnie Corbett

 

They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.

-- Billie Holliday