My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of figure skating", 1994

 

I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.

-- Tony Bennett, 1995

 

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

-- Shirley Temple Black

 

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

-- Al Capone

 

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

-- Walt Disney

 

I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.

-- Molly Ivins

 

What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.

-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995

 

If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my future crimes.

-- Prince

 

I plan to accumulate as many shoes as Imelda Marcos while cultivating an aura of virtue exceeding that of Mother Theresa.

-- Seen in a .signature file