Some Marriages Insights
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury1.
-- George Burns

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.
-- Cindy Garner2

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said,
"In the lake."
-- Henny Youngman

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller

The secret of a happy marriage remains3 a secret.
-- Henny Youngman

People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured
at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success.
Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman.
Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
-- Erma Bombeck

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes,
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge4 than
to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got
two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided5 not to
report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut6, and still think they
are beautiful.


1 jury g3dxN     
  • These twelve men are believed to compose the jury.据信,陪审团是由这12人组成的。
  • The members of the jury were discharged from their duties.陪审员们被解除了职务。
2 garner jhZxS     
  • He has garnered extensive support for his proposals.他的提议得到了广泛的支持。
  • Squirrels garner nuts for the winter.松鼠为过冬储存松果。
3 remains 1kMzTy     
  • He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
  • The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。
4 revenge lWfxP     
v.报...之仇,为...报仇 ;n.报仇,复仇
  • She poisoned his mind with ideas of hate and revenge.她用复仇的思想来毒害他的心灵。
  • There was anger in his eyes and revenge in his heart.他两眼闪现怒火,一心只想复仇。
5 decided lvqzZd     
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
6 gut MezzP     
  • It is not always necessary to gut the fish prior to freezing.冷冻鱼之前并不总是需要先把内脏掏空。
  • My immediate gut feeling was to refuse.我本能的直接反应是拒绝。
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