A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink.

"I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"

The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?"

"I'll have a Scotch¹ and soda² -- light on the soda," says Rover.

The bartender is skeptical³ about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk -- you're a ventriloquist!"

"No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself -- but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog."

The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone.

"Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper."

"Let's go look for him," said the man.

The two went to the drugstore -- no Rover. They walked up and down nearby alleys⁵ and streets -- no dog! Finally, they found Rover in an alley⁴ on top of another dog, pumping away.

Pointing his finger at Rover, the man says angrily, "How come you are doing this? You have never done this before!"

"First time I ever had any money!"