Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

-- Alphonse Allais

 

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.

-- Richard Braunstein

 

If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.

-- Samuel Butler

 

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.

-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991

 

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

-- Oscar Levant

 

I drink no more than a sponge.

-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v.

 

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

-- Seen on a bumper sticker

 

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

-- Oscar Wilde