Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

-- Anonymous

 

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

-- Anonymous

 

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

-- Chinese Proverb

 

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

-- Claudette Colbert

 

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

-- Clarence Darrow

 

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

-- Peter De Vries

 

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

-- Peter DeVries

 

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

-- Ken Dodd

 

A small family is soon provided for.

-- English Proverb

 

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

-- Marvin Kitman

 

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point

 

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

-- Martin Mull

 

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

-- Navaho saying

 

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents

 

Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.

-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984

 

Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.

-- Peter Ustinov

 

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.

-- Yiddish Proverb