I will not sit on Santa's lap.
You cannot make me sit on it,
and if you try I promise that
I'll throw a screaming fit on it.

I will not talk to Santa;
I am simply too afraid of him.
I'm not impressed by all the songs
and movies that are made of him.

It really doesn't matter that
he's generous and jolly too.
It doesn't matter if his chair
is decked with boughs of holly too.

It makes no difference that he's loved
from here to Ethiopia.
I cannot sit with Santa.
I've got Santa Claustrophobia.