Of Human Bondage 人性的枷锁 Chapter 72
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For the next three months Philip went every day to see Mildred. He took his books with him and after tea worked, while Mildred lay on the sofa reading novels. Sometimes he would look up and watch her for a minute. A happy smile crossed his lips. She would feel his eyes upon her.
 
'Don't waste your time looking at me, silly. Go on with your work,' she said.
 
'Tyrant,' he answered gaily1.
 
He put aside his book when the landlady2 came in to lay the cloth for dinner, and in his high spirits he exchanged chaff3 with her. She was a little cockney, of middle age, with an amusing humour and a quick tongue. Mildred had become great friends with her and had given her an elaborate but mendacious4 account of the circumstances which had brought her to the pass she was in. The good-hearted little woman was touched and found no trouble too great to make Mildred comfortable. Mildred's sense of propriety5 had suggested that Philip should pass himself off as her brother. They dined together, and Philip was delighted when he had ordered something which tempted6 Mildred's capricious appetite. It enchanted7 him to see her sitting opposite him, and every now and then from sheer joy he took her hand and pressed it. After dinner she sat in the arm-chair by the fire, and he settled himself down on the floor beside her, leaning against her knees, and smoked. Often they did not talk at all, and sometimes Philip noticed that she had fallen into a doze8. He dared not move then in case he woke her, and he sat very quietly, looking lazily into the fire and enjoying his happiness.
 
'Had a nice little nap?' he smiled, when she woke.
 
'I've not been sleeping,' she answered. 'I only just closed my eyes.'
 
She would never acknowledge that she had been asleep. She had a phlegmatic9 temperament10, and her condition did not seriously inconvenience her. She took a lot of trouble about her health and accepted the advice of anyone who chose to offer it. She went for a 'constitutional' every morning that it was fine and remained out a definite time. When it was not too cold she sat in St. James' Park. But the rest of the day she spent quite happily on her sofa, reading one novel after another or chatting with the landlady; she had an inexhaustible interest in gossip, and told Philip with abundant detail the history of the landlady, of the lodgers11 on the drawing-room floor, and of the people who lived in the next house on either side. Now and then she was seized with panic; she poured out her fears to Philip about the pain of the confinement12 and was in terror lest she should die; she gave him a full account of the confinements13 of the landlady and of the lady on the drawing-room floor (Mildred did not know her; 'I'm one to keep myself to myself,' she said, 'I'm not one to go about with anybody.') and she narrated14 details with a queer mixture of horror and gusto; but for the most part she looked forward to the occurrence with equanimity15.
 
'After all, I'm not the first one to have a baby, am I? And the doctor says I shan't have any trouble. You see, it isn't as if I wasn't well made.'
 
Mrs. Owen, the owner of the house she was going to when her time came, had recommended a doctor, and Mildred saw him once a week. He was to charge fifteen guineas.
 
'Of course I could have got it done cheaper, but Mrs. Owen strongly recommended him, and I thought it wasn't worth while to spoil the ship for a coat of tar16.'
 
'If you feel happy and comfortable I don't mind a bit about the expense,' said Philip.
 
She accepted all that Philip did for her as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and on his side he loved to spend money on her: each five-pound note he gave her caused him a little thrill of happiness and pride; he gave her a good many, for she was not economical.
 
'I don't know where the money goes to,' she said herself, 'it seems to slip through my fingers like water.'
 
'It doesn't matter,' said Philip. 'I'm so glad to be able to do anything I can for you.'
 
She could not sew well and so did not make the necessary things for the baby; she told Philip it was much cheaper in the end to buy them. Philip had lately sold one of the mortgages in which his money had been put; and now, with five hundred pounds in the bank waiting to be invested in something that could be more easily realised, he felt himself uncommonly17 well-to-do. They talked often of the future. Philip was anxious that Mildred should keep the child with her, but she refused: she had her living to earn, and it would be more easy to do this if she had not also to look after a baby. Her plan was to get back into one of the shops of the company for which she had worked before, and the child could be put with some decent woman in the country.
 
'I can find someone who'll look after it well for seven and sixpence a week. It'll be better for the baby and better for me.'
 
It seemed callous18 to Philip, but when he tried to reason with her she pretended to think he was concerned with the expense.
 
'You needn't worry about that,' she said. 'I shan't ask YOU to pay for it.'
 
'You know I don't care how much I pay.'
 
At the bottom of her heart was the hope that the child would be still-born. She did no more than hint it, but Philip saw that the thought was there. He was shocked at first; and then, reasoning with himself, he was obliged to confess that for all concerned such an event was to be desired.
 
'It's all very fine to say this and that,' Mildred remarked querulously, 'but it's jolly difficult for a girl to earn her living by herself; it doesn't make it any easier when she's got a baby.'
 
'Fortunately you've got me to fall back on,' smiled Philip, taking her hand.
 
'You've been good to me, Philip.'
 
'Oh, what rot!'
 
'You can't say I didn't offer anything in return for what you've done.'
 
'Good heavens, I don't want a return. If I've done anything for you, I've done it because I love you. You owe me nothing. I don't want you to do anything unless you love me.'
 
He was a little horrified19 by her feeling that her body was a commodity which she could deliver indifferently as an acknowledgment for services rendered.
 
'But I do want to, Philip. You've been so good to me.'
 
'Well, it won't hurt for waiting. When you're all right again we'll go for our little honeymoon20.'
 
'You are naughty,' she said, smiling.
 
Mildred expected to be confined early in March, and as soon as she was well enough she was to go to the seaside for a fortnight: that would give Philip a chance to work without interruption for his examination; after that came the Easter holidays, and they had arranged to go to Paris together. Philip talked endlessly of the things they would do. Paris was delightful21 then. They would take a room in a little hotel he knew in the Latin Quarter, and they would eat in all sorts of charming little restaurants; they would go to the play, and he would take her to music halls. It would amuse her to meet his friends. He had talked to her about Cronshaw, she would see him; and there was Lawson, he had gone to Paris for a couple of months; and they would go to the Bal Bullier; there were excursions; they would make trips to Versailles, Chartres, Fontainebleau.
 
'It'll cost a lot of money,' she said.
 
'Oh, damn the expense. Think how I've been looking forward to it. Don't you know what it means to me? I've never loved anyone but you. I never shall.'
 
She listened to his enthusiasm with smiling eyes. He thought he saw in them a new tenderness, and he was grateful to her. She was much gentler than she used to be. There was in her no longer the superciliousness22 which had irritated him. She was so accustomed to him now that she took no pains to keep up before him any pretences23. She no longer troubled to do her hair with the old elaboration, but just tied it in a knot; and she left off the vast fringe which she generally wore: the more careless style suited her. Her face was so thin that it made her eyes seem very large; there were heavy lines under them, and the pallor of her cheeks made their colour more profound. She had a wistful look which was infinitely24 pathetic. There seemed to Philip to be in her something of the Madonna. He wished they could continue in that same way always. He was happier than he had ever been in his life.
 
He used to leave her at ten o'clock every night, for she liked to go to bed early, and he was obliged to put in another couple of hours' work to make up for the lost evening. He generally brushed her hair for her before he went. He had made a ritual of the kisses he gave her when he bade her good-night; first he kissed the palms of her hands (how thin the fingers were, the nails were beautiful, for she spent much time in manicuring them,) then he kissed her closed eyes, first the right one and then the left, and at last he kissed her lips. He went home with a heart overflowing25 with love. He longed for an opportunity to gratify the desire for self-sacrifice which consumed him.
 
Presently the time came for her to move to the nursing-home where she was to be confined. Philip was then able to visit her only in the afternoons. Mildred changed her story and represented herself as the wife of a soldier who had gone to India to join his regiment26, and Philip was introduced to the mistress of the establishment as her brother-in-law.
 
'I have to be rather careful what I say,' she told him, 'as there's another lady here whose husband's in the Indian Civil.'
 
'I wouldn't let that disturb me if I were you,' said Philip. 'I'm convinced that her husband and yours went out on the same boat.'
 
'What boat?' she asked innocently.
 
'The Flying Dutchman.'
 
Mildred was safely delivered of a daughter, and when Philip was allowed to see her the child was lying by her side. Mildred was very weak, but relieved that everything was over. She showed him the baby, and herself looked at it curiously27.
 
'It's a funny-looking little thing, isn't it? I can't believe it's mine.'
 
It was red and wrinkled and odd. Philip smiled when he looked at it. He did not quite know what to say; and it embarrassed him because the nurse who owned the house was standing28 by his side; and he felt by the way she was looking at him that, disbelieving Mildred's complicated story, she thought he was the father.
 
'What are you going to call her?' asked Philip.
 
'I can't make up my mind if I shall call her Madeleine or Cecilia.'
 
The nurse left them alone for a few minutes, and Philip bent29 down and kissed Mildred on the mouth.
 
'I'm so glad it's all over happily, darling.'
 
She put her thin arms round his neck.
 
'You have been a brick to me, Phil dear.'
 
'Now I feel that you're mine at last. I've waited so long for you, my dear.'
 
They heard the nurse at the door, and Philip hurriedly got up. The nurse entered. There was a slight smile on her lips.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 gaily lfPzC     
adv.欢乐地,高兴地
参考例句:
  • The children sing gaily.孩子们欢唱着。
  • She waved goodbye very gaily.她欢快地挥手告别。
2 landlady t2ZxE     
n.女房东,女地主
参考例句:
  • I heard my landlady creeping stealthily up to my door.我听到我的女房东偷偷地来到我的门前。
  • The landlady came over to serve me.女店主过来接待我。
3 chaff HUGy5     
v.取笑,嘲笑;n.谷壳
参考例句:
  • I didn't mind their chaff.我不在乎他们的玩笑。
  • Old birds are not caught with chaff.谷糠难诱老雀。
4 mendacious qCVx1     
adj.不真的,撒谎的
参考例句:
  • The mendacious beggar told a different tale of woe at every house.这个撒谎的乞丐对于每一家都编了一个不同悲哀的故事。
  • She gave us a mendacious report.她给了我们一个虚假的报告。
5 propriety oRjx4     
n.正当行为;正当;适当
参考例句:
  • We hesitated at the propriety of the method.我们对这种办法是否适用拿不定主意。
  • The sensitive matter was handled with great propriety.这件机密的事处理得极为适当。
6 tempted b0182e969d369add1b9ce2353d3c6ad6     
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词)
参考例句:
  • I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚,但还是没开口。
  • I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。
7 enchanted enchanted     
adj. 被施魔法的,陶醉的,入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • She was enchanted by the flowers you sent her. 她非常喜欢你送给她的花。
  • He was enchanted by the idea. 他为这个主意而欣喜若狂。
8 doze IsoxV     
v.打瞌睡;n.打盹,假寐
参考例句:
  • He likes to have a doze after lunch.他喜欢午饭后打个盹。
  • While the adults doze,the young play.大人们在打瞌睡,而孩子们在玩耍。
9 phlegmatic UN9xg     
adj.冷静的,冷淡的,冷漠的,无活力的
参考例句:
  • Commuting in the rush-hour requires a phlegmatic temperament.在上下班交通高峰期间乘坐通勤车要有安之若素的心境。
  • The british character is often said to be phlegmatic.英国人的性格常说成是冷漠的。
10 temperament 7INzf     
n.气质,性格,性情
参考例句:
  • The analysis of what kind of temperament you possess is vital.分析一下你有什么样的气质是十分重要的。
  • Success often depends on temperament.成功常常取决于一个人的性格。
11 lodgers 873866fb939d5ab097342b033a0e269d     
n.房客,租住者( lodger的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • He takes in lodgers. 他招收房客。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • A good proportion of my lodgers is connected with the theaters. 住客里面有不少人是跟戏院子有往来的。 来自辞典例句
12 confinement qpOze     
n.幽禁,拘留,监禁;分娩;限制,局限
参考例句:
  • He spent eleven years in solitary confinement.他度过了11年的单独监禁。
  • The date for my wife's confinement was approaching closer and closer.妻子分娩的日子越来越近了。
13 confinements 293f56f1ee8aa0816d459ab77941b198     
限制,被监禁( confinement的名词复数 ); 分娩
参考例句:
  • He challenges social confinements and shows his dignity in the end. 裘德挑战社会限制并展现他的尊严。
  • Effect of confinements on insensitive high explosive( IHE) is studied by photoelectric test. 采用光电测试的方法,研究了钝感炸药的约束效应。
14 narrated 41d1c5fe7dace3e43c38e40bfeb85fe5     
v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Some of the story was narrated in the film. 该电影叙述了这个故事的部分情节。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Defoe skilfully narrated the adventures of Robinson Crusoe on his desert island. 笛福生动地叙述了鲁滨逊·克鲁索在荒岛上的冒险故事。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
15 equanimity Z7Vyz     
n.沉着,镇定
参考例句:
  • She went again,and in so doing temporarily recovered her equanimity.她又去看了戏,而且这样一来又暂时恢复了她的平静。
  • The defeat was taken with equanimity by the leadership.领导层坦然地接受了失败。
16 tar 1qOwD     
n.柏油,焦油;vt.涂或浇柏油/焦油于
参考例句:
  • The roof was covered with tar.屋顶涂抹了一层沥青。
  • We use tar to make roads.我们用沥青铺路。
17 uncommonly 9ca651a5ba9c3bff93403147b14d37e2     
adv. 稀罕(极,非常)
参考例句:
  • an uncommonly gifted child 一个天赋异禀的儿童
  • My little Mary was feeling uncommonly empty. 我肚子当时正饿得厉害。
18 callous Yn9yl     
adj.无情的,冷淡的,硬结的,起老茧的
参考例句:
  • He is callous about the safety of his workers.他对他工人的安全毫不关心。
  • She was selfish,arrogant and often callous.她自私傲慢,而且往往冷酷无情。
19 horrified 8rUzZU     
a.(表现出)恐惧的
参考例句:
  • The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
  • We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。
20 honeymoon ucnxc     
n.蜜月(假期);vi.度蜜月
参考例句:
  • While on honeymoon in Bali,she learned to scuba dive.她在巴厘岛度蜜月时学会了带水肺潜水。
  • The happy pair are leaving for their honeymoon.这幸福的一对就要去度蜜月了。
21 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的
参考例句:
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
22 superciliousness af7799da7237e592b430286314a46d4f     
n.高傲,傲慢
参考例句:
  • Life had not taught her domination--superciliousness of grace, which is the lordly power of some women. 她的生活经历使她和那些威风凛凛的夫人们不同,她身上没有专横和傲气。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
  • Eyes looking sideways can show one's coldness and superciliousness. 眼睛旁顾,态度冷淡,目空一切的眼神。 来自互联网
23 pretences 0d462176df057e8e8154cd909f8d95a6     
n.假装( pretence的名词复数 );作假;自命;自称
参考例句:
  • You've brought your old friends out here under false pretences. 你用虚假的名义把你的那些狐朋狗党带到这里来。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
  • There are no pretences about him. 他一点不虚伪。 来自辞典例句
24 infinitely 0qhz2I     
adv.无限地,无穷地
参考例句:
  • There is an infinitely bright future ahead of us.我们有无限光明的前途。
  • The universe is infinitely large.宇宙是无限大的。
25 overflowing df84dc195bce4a8f55eb873daf61b924     
n. 溢出物,溢流 adj. 充沛的,充满的 动词overflow的现在分词形式
参考例句:
  • The stands were overflowing with farm and sideline products. 集市上农副产品非常丰富。
  • The milk is overflowing. 牛奶溢出来了。
26 regiment JATzZ     
n.团,多数,管理;v.组织,编成团,统制
参考例句:
  • As he hated army life,he decide to desert his regiment.因为他嫌恶军队生活,所以他决心背弃自己所在的那个团。
  • They reformed a division into a regiment.他们将一个师整编成为一个团。
27 curiously 3v0zIc     
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地
参考例句:
  • He looked curiously at the people.他好奇地看着那些人。
  • He took long stealthy strides. His hands were curiously cold.他迈着悄没声息的大步。他的双手出奇地冷。
28 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
29 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的
参考例句:
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
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