Dear six-year-old, training wheels are for babies. Just let go already. Regards, a seven-year-old.

6岁的人，辅助轮是给小宝宝用的，就勇敢一点吧。来自，一个7岁的人。

Dear seven-year-old, no matter what anyone says, stay weird¹. Signed, an eight-year-old.

7岁的人，不管别人说什么，保持你的怪异。来自，一个8岁的人。

Dear eight-year-old, find out your babysitter's weakness, then use it against them. Signed, a nine-year-old.

8岁的人，找出你保姆的弱点，然后利用这个弱点来对付他们。来自，一个9岁的人。

Dear nine-year-old, don't get involved with the 'popular' kids. They're narcissistic² capitalists that know nothing about politics. Signed, a 12-year-old.

9岁的人，不要和那些所谓的“受欢迎的”孩子们一起玩，他们就是一些不懂政治的自恋的资本家。来自，一个12岁的人。

Dear 12-year-old, ask her to dance. Just trust me on this one. Signed, a 16-year-old.

12岁的人，邀请她去跳舞吧。相信我。来自，一个16岁的人。

Dear 16-year-old, don't let your mom throw away your Legos. Signed, an 18-year-old.

16岁的人，不要让你妈把你的乐高积木扔掉。来自，一个18岁的人。

Dear 18-year-old, go easy on the makeup⁴. You're not as ugly as you think. Love, a 19-year-old.

18岁的人，不要太依赖化妆。你比你想象的要漂亮。来自，一个19岁的人。

Dear 19-year-old, just because it's an all-you-can-eat buffet⁵, does not mean you need to eat all you can.

19岁的人，去吃自助餐并不意味着你要用尽全力去吃。

Your parents have better interest rates than your credit card.

跟你的父母借钱利率要比信用卡低。

If he says he has a "weekend home" in the suburbs, he's married.

如果他说在郊区有个“周末家庭”，他已经结婚了。

That rust³ protection undercoating, it's actually a great deal.

涂防锈漆其实是很重要的。

Whatever you do, never order the salad from a truck stop.

不管做什么，不要在车站点沙拉。

Back up your hard drive. Now.

现在就备份你的硬盘。

I mean, who even does that?

我是说，谁会那样做呢？

Getting laid off can be a blessing⁶ in disguise.

被解雇可能是一件好事。

Being a starving artist only works if you actually make art.

做饥饿艺术家只有当你真正做艺术时才有意义。

Always be kind to your family. You'll need each other when things get tough.

对你的家人好点。在困境中你们会需要彼此。

Stop panicking. Being a single mom is an incredible thing.

不要慌。做一个单亲妈妈是一件不可思议的事情。

I was 22, I had this little kid, named him Vladimir.

我22岁时有了这个小家伙，我给他取名叫弗拉基米尔。

He's 14 now, he makes me proud. So proud.

他现在14岁了，他让我很骄傲，非常骄傲。

Dear 36-year-old, stop caring so much about what other people think. They're not thinking about you at all. Signed, a 47-year-old.

36岁的人，不要再那么关心别人的想法了。他们根本就不在乎你。来自，一个47岁的人。

Dear 47-year-old, a mid-life crisis does not look good on you. Signed, a 48-year-old.

47岁的人，中年危机看起来并不光鲜。来自，一个48岁的人。

Dear 48-year-old, always tell the truth. Except when it comes to your online dating profile.

48岁的人，除了写网上的相亲资料，其他时候一定要讲真话。

Dear 51-year-old, one cat is enough cats. Signed, a 53-year-old.

51岁的人，养一只猫就够了。来自，一个53岁的人。

Dear 53-year-old, it's never too late to try something new.

53岁的人，尝试新事物永远不晚。

I've decided⁷ to take my husband's Corvette and go to racing⁸ school. If Paul Newman can do it, why can't I?

我决定开着我丈夫的雪佛兰克尔维特去报名学赛车，如果保罗·纽曼能做到的话，我为什么不能？

Dear 72-year-old, spend all your money. Otherwise, your kids are going to do it for you. Sincerely, an 85-year-old.

72岁的人，花了你的钱吧。不然的话，你的孩子们会帮你花的。来自，一个85岁的人。

Dear 85-year-old...Indulge your sweet tooth, you'll need dentists soon anyway. My late wife made the best apple pie that you could ever find.

85岁的人...... 尽情地吃甜食吧，反正你早晚都需要牙医的。我老伴过世前曾给我做过最好吃的苹果派。

When she cut the pieces, she would cut small ones, and when she came to me, she would cut a big one.

她切派的时候，会切小块的，但给我切的时候，她会给我切一大块。

Dear 88-year-old, cultivate younger friends. Otherwise, yours will all die off. Sincerely, 91 years old.

88岁的人，交一些年轻的朋友吧。不然的话，你的朋友渐渐地都会去世。来自，一个91岁的人。

Dear 91-year-old, don't listen to other people's advice. Nobody knows what the hell they're doing. Signed, a 93-year old.

91岁的人，不要听别人的建议。没人知道自己在做什么。来自，一个93岁的人。

Just do your own thing. That's the way I see it.

做你自己的事情就好了。这就是我的观点。

The popular kids, they're so shallow. They like hashtags and pop culture, and it's like, I don't care. That's never going to be relevant in the future.

那些受欢迎的孩子都太肤浅了。他们喜欢标签和流行文化，表现出一副不在意的样子。在未来那些根本就毫无关联。

If your babysitter hates feet, do a handstand and then put your feet right in their face.

如果你的保姆讨厌脚的话，你就倒立着把脚放在他们面前。

Have you ever done that before?

你之前这样做过吗？

No, but I'm willing to.

没有，不过我很愿意这样做。

Dear 70-year-old, stay weird.

70岁的人，保持你的怪异。

Signed, a 72-year-old.

来自，一个72岁的人。

I think that went good.

我觉得还不错。

 

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