The Nightside of Character

  A GIFTED and Honourable¹ Editor, who by practice of his profession
had acquired wealth and distinction, applied² to an Old Friend for
the hand of his daughter in marriage.

  "With all my heart, and God bless you!" said the Old Friend,
grasping him by both hands.  "It is a greater honour than I had
dared to hope for."

  "I knew what your answer would be," replied the Gifted and
Honourable Editor.  "And yet," he added, with a sly smile, "I feel
that I ought to give you as much knowledge of my character as I
possess.  In this scrap-book is such testimony³ relating to my shady
side, as I have within the past ten years been able to cut from the
columns of my competitors in the business of elevating humanity to
a higher plane of mind and morals - my 'loathsome⁴ contemporaries.'"

  Laying the book on a table, he withdrew in high spirits to make
arrangements for the wedding.  Three days later he received the
scrap-book from a messenger, with a note warning him never again to
darken his Old Friend's door.

  "See!" the Gifted and Honourable Editor exclaimed, pointing to that
injunction - "I am a painter and grainer!"

  And he was led away to the Asylum⁵ for the Indiscreet.