有趣的男性和女性专用英语，你懂吗？

　1、女“性“英语

　　你真的听懂了对方在说什么吗？有些时候潜台词和字面的意思正相反...

　　Yes = No.

　　No = Yes.

　　Maybe = No.

　　I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

　　We need = I want.

　　It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

　　Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

　　We need to talk = I need to complain.

　　Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

　　I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron¹!

　　You're so manly² = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

　　You're certainly attentive³ tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

　　Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs⁴.

　　This kitchen is so inconvenient⁵ = I want a new house.

　　I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

　　Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

　　I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

　　Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

　　How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

　　I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

　　Is my butt⁶ fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

　　You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

　　Are you listening to me!? =　Too late, you're dead.

　　Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

　　I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

　　The same old thing = Nothing.

　　Nothing = Everything.

　　Everything = My PMS is acting⁷ up.

　　Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.