Joke: The Fastest Thing

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified¹. He decided² to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.

"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche³ for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating⁴ his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch⁵, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip⁶ that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous answers. It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned⁷ by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s'hit in my pants."

Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!