Death & Fame

　When I die

　　I don't care what happens to my body

　　throw ashes in the air, scatter¹ 'em in East River

　　bury an urn² in Elizabeth New Jersey³, B'nai Israel Cemetery⁴

　　But l want a big funeral

　　St. Patrick's Cathedral, St. Mark's Church, the largest synagogue in

　　Manhattan

　　First, there's family, brother, nephews, spry aged⁵ Edith stepmother

　　96, Aunt Honey from old Newark,

　　Doctor Joel, cousin Mindy, brother Gene⁶ one eyed one ear'd, sister-

　　in-law blonde Connie, five nephews, stepbrothers & sisters

　　their grandchildren,

　　companion Peter Orlovsky, caretakers Rosenthal & Hale, Bill Morgan——

　　Next, teacher Trungpa Vajracharya's ghost mind, Gelek Rinpoche,

　　there Sakyong Mipham, Dalai Lama alert, chance visiting

　　America, Satchitananda Swami

　　Shivananda, Dehorahava Baba, Karmapa XVI, Dudjom Rinpoche,

　　Katagiri & Suzuki Roshi's phantoms⁷

　　Baker⁸, Whalen, Daido Loorie, Qwong, Frail⁹ White-haired Kapleau

　　Roshis, Lama Tarchen ——

　　Then, most important, lovers over half-century

　　Dozens, a hundred, more, older fellows bald & rich

　　young boys met naked recently in bed, crowds surprised to see each

　　other, innumerable, intimate, exchanging memories

　　"He taught me to meditate¹⁰, now I'm an old veteran of the thousand

　　day retreat ——"

　　"I played music on subway platforms, I'm straight but loved him he

　　loved me"

　　"I felt more love from him at 19 than ever from anyone"

　　"We'd lie under covers gossip, read my poetry, hug & kiss belly¹¹ to belly

　　arms round each other"

　　"I'd always get into his bed with underwear on & by morning my

　　skivvies would be on the floor"

　　"Japanese, always wanted take it up my bum¹² with a master"

　　"We'd talk all night about Kerouac & Cassady sit Buddhalike then

　　sleep in his captain's bed."

　　"He seemed to need so much affection, a shame not to make him happy"

　　"I was lonely never in bed nude¹³ with anyone before, he was so gentle my

　　stomach

　　shuddered¹⁴ when he traced his finger along my abdomen¹⁵ nipple to hips—— "

　　"All I did was lay back eyes closed, he'd bring me to come with mouth

　　& fingers along my waist"

　　"He gave great head"

　　So there be gossip from loves of 1948, ghost of Neal Cassady commin-

　　gling with flesh and youthful blood of 1997

　　and surprise —— "You too？ But I thought you were straight！"

　　"I am but Ginsberg an exception, for some reason he pleased me."

　　"I forgot whether I was straight gay queer or funny, was myself, tender

　　and affectionate to be kissed on the top of my head,

　　my forehead throat heart & solar plexus, mid-belly. on my prick¹⁶,

　　tickled¹⁷ with his tongue my behind"

　　"I loved the way he'd recite 'But at my back allways hear/ time's winged

　　chariot hurrying near,' heads together, eye to eye, on a

　　pillow ——"

　　Among lovers one handsome youth straggling the rear

　　"I studied his poetry class, 17 year-old kid, ran some errands to his

　　walk-up flat,

　　seduced¹⁸ me didn't want to, made me come, went home, never saw him

　　again never wanted to…… "

　　"He couldn't get it up but loved me," "A clean old man." "He made

　　sure I came first"

　　This the crowd most surprised proud at ceremonial place of honor——

　　Then poets & musicians —— college boys' grunge bands —— age-old rock

　　star Beatles, faithful guitar accompanists, gay classical con-

　　ductors, unknown high Jazz music composers, funky trum-

　　peters, bowed bass & french horn black geniuses, folksinger

　　fiddlers with dobro tamborine harmonica mandolin auto-

　　harp pennywhistles & kazoos

　　Next, artist Italian romantic realists schooled in mystic 60's India,

　　Late fauve Tuscan painter-poets, Classic draftsman Massa-

　　chusets surreal jackanapes with continental wives, poverty

　　sketchbook gesso oil watercolor masters from American

　　provinces

　　Then highschool teachers, lonely Irish librarians, delicate biblio-

　　philes, sex liberation troops nay armies, ladies of either sex

　　"I met him dozens of times he never remembered my name I loved

　　him anyway, true artist"

　　"Nervous breakdown after menopause, his poetry humor saved me

　　from suicide hospitals"

　　"Charmant, genius with modest manners, washed sink, dishes my

　　studio guest a week in Budapest"

　　Thousands of readers, "Howl changed my life in Libertyville Illinois"

　　"I saw him read Montclair State Teachers College decided be a poet—— "

　　"He turned me on, I started with garage rock sang my songs in Kansas

　　City"

　　"Kaddish made me weep for myself & father alive in Nevada City"

　　"Father Death comforted me when my sister died Boston l982"

　　"I read what he said in a newsmagazine, blew my mind, realized

　　others like me out there"

　　Deaf & Dumb bards with hand signing quick brilliant gestures

　　Then Journalists, editors's secretaries, agents, portraitists & photo-

　　graphy aficionados, rock critics, cultured laborors, cultural

　　historians come to witness the historic funeral

　　Super-fans, poetasters, aging Beatnicks & Deadheads, autograph-

　　hunters, distinguished paparazzi, intelligent gawkers

　　Everyone knew they were part of 'History" except the deceased

　　who never knew exactly what was happening even when I was alive

　　February 22, 1997