The Swearing Parrot

      One day an elderly pastor¹ confides² in his parishioners that he's feeling a bit lonely and depressed³. So one of the parishioners suggests to the pastor that he buy a pet. Thinking this a grand idea, the pastor hurries into town and after much deliberation, buys a parrot.
      
      Unfortunately not five minutes after arriving home, the parrot starts hurling⁴ a string of expletives at the pastor.
      
      After about an hour it gets to be too much, so the pastor walks up to the parrot, slaps him on the beak⁵, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the parrot madder and he starts swearing at the pastor in even more colorful language.
      
      Finally the pastor has had it and says, "All right, that's it. Grabbing a blanket, the pastor throws it over the parrot's cage and screams, "Now, SHUT UP!" Well, this really irritates the parrot and he starts clawing and scratching at the bars of his cage. Finally the pastor removes the blanket. Immediately the parrot starts right in on the pastor again.
      
      By this time, the pastor is so infuriated that he grabs the parrot by the throat and throws him into the freezer. Well, the parrot starts swearing and thrashing about so loudly that the pastor is considering killing⁶ the bird. Just as he's thinking this, it gets very...very quiet.
      
      At first the pastor just stares at the refrigerator, but then he starts to think that the parrot might be seriously injured. He becomes so worried that he runs over to the refrigerator and throws open the freezer door.
      
      The parrot climbs out of the freezer, flaps the ice off his wings, and says, "Awfully⁷ sorry about the trouble I've caused you father. In the future, I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary."
      
      The pastor is astounded⁸. He can't believe the sudden transformation⁹ that has come over the parrot. Finally the parrot turns to the pastor and says, "Um....by the way, what did the chicken do?"