单身日记2理性边缘－13

601
Right, moment of truth awaits.

602
What if I am pregnant?

603
I must try not to get hopes up too high.

604
Boyfriend and baby seems just too lucky.

605
Bridg]et? I have been looking]
everywhere for you.

606
I thoug]ht you'd broken a leg]
or something]... Oh, God.

607
- You're not...?
- I mig]ht be.

608
- What if I were?
- Well, I suppose l'd...

609
To be quite frank,
it'd be bloody¹ fantastic.

610
I mean, if a little ahead of schedule.

611
- Are you really preg]nant?
- Well, g]ive it three minutes.

612
- What do you fancy? Boy or a g]irl?
- I dunno, it doesn't matter.

613
Althoug]h, I suppose I've always had
the fantasy of a son.

614
- Another Mark Darcy.
- Or maybe something] like Huck.

615
Or River. Or some fabulous²
Hebrew name like Noah.

616
Anyway, I could teach him
to play cricket and rug]by

617
and visit him at Eton
on St Andrew's Day.

618
Eton?

619
Yes. The Darcy men have been g]oing]
to Eton for five g]enerations.

620
Well, my son's not g]oing] to be
sent away from home.

621
Especially to some fascist³ institution
where they stick a poker⁴ up your arse

622
that you're never allowed
to remove ag]ain.

623
I see.

624
- I didn't mean you.
- No, of course not.

625
So what's the alternative?
Sleeping] in his parents' bed,

626
breastfeeding] until he's a teenag]er

627
and some prog]ressive school, where the
day is spent sing]ing] Yellow Submarine?

628
Oh, you're absolutely rig]ht.

629
It's madness to allow a child to enjoy
his education or live with his parents.

630
What is madness is to have a child
if his parents can't have a discussion

631
without one shouting] at the other.

632
It's neg]ative.

633
- That's too bad.
- Yes, very sad.

634
Perhaps we should g]o out for lunch
tomorrow. Get out of the g]rump.

635
That's a g]ood idea in theory,
but you made a family arrang]ement.

636
Oh, God.

637
[doorbell]

638
Darling]s!

639
I've had the fabulous idea
of inviting] your parents.

640
[Bridget] Another one
of Mother's culinary triumphs.

641
- Everything in miniature.
- Mini treacle⁵ tart⁶, Admiral Darcy?

642
No, no, thank you. The mini spotted⁷ dick
rather finished me off.

643
[polite laug]hter]

644
So, Mark, Bridg]et, when are you
two lovebirds g]oing] to name the day?

645
Bridg]et, you must want to hear
those ding]-dong] bells.

646
Well, we're certainly not thinking]
about that yet. Are we, Bridg]et?

647
No. God, no.

648
Of course not.

649
[Mr Jones] Good.
Well, that's that sorted.

650
So, Admiral, out on the hig]h seas.
How was it?