The King

The beautiful secretary of a bank president was asked to squire¹ around the king of a wealthy African kingdom, one of the bank's most important clients.

After a day shopping & sightseeing, the king was utterly² besotted with the lady, and asked for her hand in marriage. The proposal took the secretary by surprise and she was thinking of how to turn him down politely without jeopardising the bank's business relationship.

So she told the king that she would only marry him if he fulfilled three conditions. The king readily agreed. The secretary named her first condition. She would only marry him if he could give her a 75-carat diamond ring with matching 200 carat tiara.

The king thought for a while and said finally, "No problem! I have, I have".

One down, the lady thought up something more complex. "My second condition is that you must build me a 200 room mansion³ in the best district of New York City and for my holiday home, a chateau⁴ in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The king whipped out his cellular⁵ phone and after a lengthy⁶ conversation with his broker⁷ in New York, he said triumphantly⁸, "OK, I build, I build".

Realising that she was down to her last defence, the lady thought hard. Finally, she smiled to herself thinking that her third condition was the best yet.

Surely the king could not possibly fulfil this one. "Well," she said, "You know, I love sex, so the man I marry MUST have a 14-inch long penis."

The king was silent and thoughtful for a long time, burying his face in his hands. Finally, he shook his head, and in a rather sad, resigned voice said, "OK, OK, I cut, I cut".

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