Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon? Because he was dead!
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old? A year older on his birthday!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload1. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: My little sister ate it!
Bad timing2 for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late? Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked