Wish You a Merry...Chrismukah?

时间：2007-06-08 07:08:57

（单词翻译:单击）

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers2 and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge1. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs3 are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreidel, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible4 to a wider audience.

Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreidel will be the more generic5: "Miraculous6 stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.

Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."

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1 merge qCpxF     
v.(使)结合，(使)合并，(使)合为一体
参考例句：
  • I can merge my two small businesses into a large one.我可以将我的两家小商店合并为一家大商行。
  • The directors have decided to merge the two small firms together.董事们已决定把这两家小商号归并起来。
2 mergers b4ab62fffa9919cbf1e93fcad6d3150c     
n.（两个公司的）合并( merger的名词复数 )
参考例句：
  • Mergers fall into three categories: horizontal, vertical, and conglomerate. 合并分为以下三种：横向合并，纵向合并和混合合并。 来自辞典例句
  • Many recent mergers are concentrated within specific industries, particularly in retailing, airlines and communications. 现代许多合并企业集中进行某些特定业务，在零售业、民航和通讯业中更是如此。 来自英汉非文学 - 政府文件
3 layoffs ce61a640e39c61e757a47e52d4154974     
临时解雇( layoff的名词复数 )； 停工，停止活动
参考例句：
  • Textile companies announced 2000 fresh layoffs last week. 各纺织公司上周宣布再次裁员两千人。
  • Stock prices broke when the firm suddenly announced layoffs. 当公司突然宣布裁员时，股票价格便大跌
4 unintelligible sfuz2V     
adj.无法了解的，难解的，莫明其妙的
参考例句：
  • If a computer is given unintelligible data, it returns unintelligible results.如果计算机得到的是难以理解的数据，它给出的也将是难以理解的结果。
  • The terms were unintelligible to ordinary folk.这些术语一般人是不懂的。
5 generic mgixr     
adj.一般的，普通的，共有的
参考例句：
  • I usually buy generic clothes instead of name brands.我通常买普通的衣服，不买名牌。
  • The generic woman appears to have an extraordinary faculty for swallowing the individual.一般妇女在婚后似乎有特别突出的抑制个性的能力。
6 miraculous DDdxA     
adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的
参考例句：
  • The wounded man made a miraculous recovery.伤员奇迹般地痊愈了。
  • They won a miraculous victory over much stronger enemy.他们战胜了远比自己强大的敌人，赢得了非凡的胜利。

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